Beautiful yet Tough Time of year for Amanda and I

Here is a piece of text cut out of our “Charli and Ali” page found on our website. Their 5th birthday is tomorrow, Nov. 1st, 2011. They only lived a short time yet their lives touched us so deeply. Amanda and I will never forget them.

Around the sixth month of pregnancy we began Level II ultrasounds as most twin pregnancies do. We found out that something was wrong with the girls. When scanning the head of Charli (baby B as we knew her then), the specialist began to notice excess fluid on the brain. As we went from week to week the diagnosis changed and adjusted as we would see more as the girls grew. We soon found that Ali was also affected.

Over the next couple of months we went on a roller coaster ride of hope, fear, sadness, and peace. It ended up that both girls suffered the lack of formation of the brain altogether. Still to this day there is no known reason why. The specialists all agree that somewhere around day 3 or 4 of conception something went wrong causing the brains to suffer correct formation.

Charli and Ali were born on Wednesday, November 1st, 2006 early in the afternoon and some early MRI’s confirmed what we were seeing. Neither of our daughters had formed a brain beyond a bit of brain stem. Charli lived until after 4pm on the following Monday, the 6th, and Ali passed away early in the morning ten days later on the 16th. We only got a short amount of time with them but the time was profoundly impacting, joyous, affectionate, and satisfying. We would not trade the time spent with our daughters for anything.

Amanda said it best as we were holding Charli moments after she died, “I only got 5 days with you and I would do it all over again for 5 days.” If we could do it all over again for only a few short days we would not hesitate. Charli and Ali were an absolute delight and our hearts were and still are filled with love towards them. That little time changed our lives forever. Our daughters taught us how to love better and honor life to a whole new level.

His Kindness

About a week before the girls were born the Lord gave me another dream about them. He had been very silent through the trial of their sickness thus far so we were both very excited that He had finally broke the silence and spoken to us. In the dream I was in a glowing white room and both Charli and Ali were there with me. They were around the age of 6 or 7.

Charli had brown curly hair and was walking around pointing her finger pretending to be the boss and delegating people around. I remember she was talking as fast as she was moving and pointing. Ali was shorter and had straight hair. She sat over in the corner and smiled as she watched her sister do her thing. I could sense her contentment and her purity of mind as she watched Charli. In the dream I was overwhelmed with joy by being in their presence. I did not want it to end.

In the small amount of time that both girls were alive we were amazed of how their personalities confirmed what we saw in the dream. Charli was clearly the independent leader. She was always sprawled out, did not want to be tucked in tight, and was content whether she was being held or stretched out alone. If you tried to tuck her in and swaddle her, she would find a way out.

Ali was just the opposite. When we put the two girls together, she was always cuddling up next to her sister. She loved to be tucked in tight and always buried her face anywhere she could get it. As we watched and interacted with them, we were so grateful to the Lord that He knew them perfectly and had perfect destinies for them. We were also very grateful as parents that He let us in on who they were and a bit of what they would be like. Amanda and I look forward every single day to meet them again either when we die or when Jesus returns, whichever comes first.

Thank you for praying for us through this tragedy and continuing to do so. Losing a loved one prematurely is very difficult and has unique challenges individually and on one’s marriage so we’re grateful for your continual prayer. Hundreds of you committed to pray for their healing and Amanda and I. Words cannot express such gratitude. We were loved well and our girls were loved well. God, in His faithfulness as our Father in heaven, sustained us with His peace, affection and hope and continues to do so. It is times like these that knowing Jesus and the bigger picture enables one to go through the furnace of affliction. The Lord is good and He is loyal to us. Praise God for being who He is.

To see a video and some pictures of the girls click HERE.

God bless,

Wes